Look what the blog dragged in

A slimy guy has been following you around for the past week. He has three teeth, and he drools. Every time you go to the computer to write a post for your weblog, he tries to sit down next to you. What should you do?

• DON'T panic. Just stop, drop, and DROOL. Just because the guy is drooling doesn't necessarily mean that he wants you to drool too. Do this really subtly at first. Start by accidentally dribbling hot dog juice out of your mouth. Then wipe it up and do it again. Make sure that you spill some on yourself as well as the person sitting next to you. Later, if that doesn't work, start burping up chunks of meat. Make sure that you burp up at least three different types of meat, including chicken, turkey, and blood sausage. If your friend asks what type of meat it is, just say, "asada."



• Open up a new weblog when he isn't looking, and write the following headline:
  
  FLASH FLOOD WARNING
  
  Beautiful, drooling girl spotted in Kansas City, heading east at 10 miles per hour. HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS. Avoid at all costs. Has been known to cause flooding. DO NOT FEED!
  



• Follow all instructions carefully to achieve best results.